Ducks Dominate, Bears Hibernate: Oregon Overwhelms Cal in Week 2 Blowout
The picturesque setting of Berkeley, California, played host to a game that began with all the suspense of a heavyweight prizefight but ended looking more like a rubber ducky versus an actual Duck. The Oregon Ducks strutted into town, ready to quack up the California Golden Bears in what Cal fans hoped would be a competitive matchup. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
A Glimmer of Hope… Briefly
Cal kicked things off with the energy of a toddler after their first sip of soda. After Oregon’s Dillon Gabriel casually strolled into the end zone for a one-yard touchdown run, the Bears struck back with a play so perfect it probably made their fans forget they were underdogs—if only for a moment. QB Fernando Mendoza connected with WR Tobias Merriweather on a breathtaking 41-yard touchdown pass. It was poetry in motion, and for a brief moment, the Golden Bears thought, “Maybe this is our year!”
Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
Ducks Take Flight
After Cal’s fleeting brilliance, the Ducks decided they’d had enough pleasantries. Dillon Gabriel turned into a walking cheat code, calmly dismantling Cal’s defense with near-perfection. Meanwhile, Fernando Mendoza began impersonating a magician—except instead of pulling rabbits out of a hat, he pulled interceptions out of thin air. By halftime, the Bears were in hibernation mode, trailing so badly they probably started considering a running clock to speed things up.
A Silver Lining
Despite the lopsided 56-28 score, Cal’s head coach, ever the optimist, was quick to find a positive spin in the rubble. “This is our toughest game every year,” he declared, beaming like a dad proud of his kid’s third-place ribbon in a two-person race. “Putting up 28 points against arguably the best team in the league gives us hope for the rest of the season.”
To his credit, Coach Shel of Oregon was as gracious in victory as he was ruthless on the scoreboard. “We love coming here every year,” he said with a smile that somehow seemed both genuine and smug. “It’s like visiting family, but, you know, family you consistently beat in backyard football.”
Looking Ahead
For the Golden Bears, the takeaway is clear: If you can score 28 points on Oregon, maybe you can eke out a win against someone who doesn’t recruit NFL prospects for their practice squad. For the Ducks, this was just another day at the office—a reminder that they’re the gold standard of the Pac-12, and everyone else is playing for silver.
As the crowd filed out of Memorial Stadium, Cal fans were left with a bittersweet feeling. Sure, they got obliterated, but hey, they scored a beautiful touchdown early on! And in Berkeley, moral victories still count for something…right?
Stay tuned for Week 3, when Cal will attempt to shake off their Duck-induced daze, and Oregon will likely continue treating the rest of the NDL League like extras in their highlight reel.
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