Bottom 10 Block 3: Shenanigans I say!
Article By: Life comes at you fast. This week was tough for some, celebratory for others, and we at NDL Media pride ourselves on providing factual above board content that you our faithful readers and watchers deserve. So I'm here to address the elephant in the room before we get in to the Block 3 Bottom 10.
Round these parts, we value the freedom choice and equal representation. Shady leaders that threaten the sanctity of democracy will not and can not be tolerated. We've let one man go on a tear, doing whatever he wants for YEARS and he still remains free and in power. It's time to take a stand good citizens of the NDL! It's time for a Revolution!
Down with that all-powerful system that still manages to exist even though everyone says they’re all for gender equality—unless, of course, it means sharing power. Let’s just call it what it is: A group of men in suits, sipping bourbon in a smoke-filled room, pulling the strings behind the scenes while the rest of us pretend everything’s fine as long as we get our blue pills, new FIFA title and a new season of The Bachelor. It’s time to take back control! Forget about fixing the economy, healthcare, or climate change—what really matters is making sure that women and non-binary folks can yell at men in power on Twitter without getting blocked. Revolution, people!
And as we prepare to storm the proverbial castle of democracy, let’s not forget how fragile that system is, right? Democracy is just hanging on by a thread, and the only thing standing between us and total chaos is the same handful of people who have been taking turns pretending to care about the will of the people. If the patriarchy falls, do we expect anything better to rise from its ashes? Maybe. But first, let’s do what we do best: burn everything down and hope for the best! After all, who wouldn’t want a brave new world led by an intersectional council of Instagram influencers, TED Talk speakers, and people who can recite the names of all 17 types of feminism while sipping a matcha latte? Who needs a strong economy when you can feel good about being woke?
And who do we have to blame for this tirade? Well I'll tell you... it's high time to reveal the clear and obvious threat to democracy...
Baltasar Engonga
Oh wait, you thought I was talking about the other guy? Just kidding. This man right here is a straight
MENACE. I can't list the unspeakable things that this man performed in this article as NDL Media is a family program (PG-13 at worst). Just google him. I promise its a good time.
Anyway, you aren't here for politics, you're here for content!
Utah State of Mind - Coach Wave took some time off to reflect on his ranking here last week, and the fact that he's only amassed 28 points coming in to block 3. Enter yours truly and the Boise St Jeantys, who can't seem to lead a balanced offense to save it's life and boy howdy was it a barn burner. There were
10 Interceptions in this one. Unfortunately 7 went to Spencer Petras of Aggie fame as he thoroughly outdueled Maddux Madsen in a race to the bottom in the passing game. Gotta give credit where credit is due, he nearly doubled his output season to date. The arrow is pointing up!
Ill-Ugh-Noise - Another block another pair of devastating losses for Coach Hail and the Illini. The boys from Champaign let another stalwart back stampede them as my Boy Nicholas Singleton averaged damn near 20 yards a carry and 4 TDs on the night. The Illini D gave up a 35 point 2nd quarter to coach Niddler, who I feel like is always using his Dad voice whenever he's reminding us about the NDL way. Always feel like I'm trouble when he @coach's everyone. Needless to say 9 Turnovers in 2 games is not a recipe for success against any team yet alone tough Coaches like Niddler & ShadyNasty
That Air Force-Navy Game - Last I checked, them military academy teams run a well-oil flexbone offense, predicated on running the 'da bawl' literally a next solider up offense. So the fact that these teams combined for barely 100 yards passing is... refreshing, especially in a game that had 70 total points in it. Granted there were *checks notes* 8 turnovers in said game and 3 defensive touchdowns, BUT STILL. Ground and Pound is very much alive even here in the bottom 10. Exemplary work fellas.
UVAWOL
My boy Doc is putting up points, which typically keeps you off this list, however, allowing a 28 point 1st qtr to UConn is nasty work. The Cavs had more turnovers in this game by themselves than the Air Force Mid-Seaman game. What's even more impressive is the 712 total yards including special teams. I imagine the kick returner was busy all day. Doc & the Cavaliers followed this up by having Boston College drop 65 on em with 6 more turnovers to cap the block. Doc is gonna go out swinging and I'm here for it.
UMess Shout out one of our OG old vets Cnasty for going on a old boys tour with UMass. It was only a matter of time before he joined the ranks of the Bottom 10. He staved off a spot last week giving Texas their all, but turned around and got 'Wasted' by WKU this block while throwing 4 INTs. The Mountain West contenders should take notes on how to OOC if they want to be considered for the CFP next season.
Old Mist - Since their thriller in week 1 against the Wisconsin, Coach Pengy and the Rebels have been unable to get within a score of their opponent to end a game. At the rate we're going we're going to have a Toilet Bowl showdown in the Egg on your face Bowl with Old Mist & Miss-sus-sippi St. at season's end. To his credit, though Penguin does have 2 L's to ranked teams. However, -5 points from Gryffindor for losing to Duke, regardless of how lights out they've been playing.
Fold Dominion - He's got 3 games to play still before the next block opens, including a Toilet Bowl contender with fellow member TexMex St., but Coach Toro has only scored 13 points across 3 games thus far. A 34 pt blanking by BigRy and Clemson is perfectly acceptable. You have to challenge yourself, but doesn't Eastern Michigan have like a 66 offense or something? *Checks Notes* 8 Turnovers at home would do it. Punting is overrated anyway. Arm Punts all day baby! May check out the barn burner 19-6 game between him and MTSU to take notes. 1940s football is so in, we love it here!
Aridzona St - Coach Priest started off strong with a win over fellow Bottomite UMess, but it's been straight to hell since. He remained on the waitinglist due to such strong opponents but gets his debut here for failing to break a 100 yards against God RPOJrod this week.
Bowling Green Eggs & Ham v. Akronmonious - Our first Toilet Bowl matchup! Though I can't quite tell what Akron did to have Coach Drew so down in the dumps I can only imagine the stream for this one. To this point Akron has only scored 7 total points on the season. They were clearly so ecstatic they didn't even enter in their stats! Coach Bowling Green gets a couple more cracks at that W-shaped pinata in the coming weeks with a few other aspiring Bottomites in Western Michigan Bronc-nos & Miami of Oh Hell No.
Ore-gone St. - Untouchable avoided the list last week as he wasn't able to schedule a game, however, he was back at it making group of 5 teams look good in a spirited effort against CSU. The score looks great if you don't note that CSU was up 28-10 going in to the 4th. I must say the Beavs are feisty and I'm sure they'll do a fantastic job ruining my season just like last year.
On Deck:
Miss-Sussippi St, Purdon't, Whew Mexico St, Lousiana Technicality, WVU Brokeback Mountaineers, Vander-bleach-blonde-bad-built-butch-body, UCLA Boo-ins, Democrats
HOME
Live
Discord