OU can't shake the Devil, & Texas St gets mauled by a Cougar
Welcome NDL family to the inaugural Bottom 10 for Season 30! It's been quite a while, but we're glad to be back on the wagon and providing the content we know you've been waiting for.
"When you win, say nothing. When you lose, say less." - NFL Hall of Fame coach Paul Brown
Ahh the beginning of a new season; where everyone is in contention for a coveted CFP spot. Custom playbooks are brewing, new game plans are crafted, and everyone rides on optimism. Welp... Block 1 has been open for a week and the ol' reality check has hit some teams rather quickly (myself included).
As the college football season unfolds, some teams are finding themselves on the wrong side of the scoreboard. These teams, known as the Bottom 10, face challenges on and off the field. Let's take a look at the teams whom are struggling to find their footing in this year's competition.
1. WVUOOOF Brokeback Mountaineers - To be fair to coach Berger, we don't know what the outcome of the Tennessee game just yet, but given the throttling the Coach VT handed WVU, his prospects do not look good. As someone who has been on several short-ends of a beatdown from Coach VT, I can't help but feel bad for Berger. Taking over a team that made the CFP only to get Donkey-Stomped by an NDL Legend is not how anyone wants to start their season.
2. Stanfird Cardinope - Coach Ninjanano couldn't wait to get out of dodge and leave the MWC for greener pastures. Then he decided it might be a good idea to schedule some OOCs within his old stomping grounds. The only thing that got stomped, however, was the Stanford Cardinal as SDSU hung 52 on them while only getting 1 takeaway, which can't bode well for the Cardinal defense. As my longest dynasty, I feel for these boys, as it may be a long season for them after making an attempted comeback against the Washington Huskies in vain. The ACC is no Pac-12, and Ninjanano & the Cardinal may learn that lesson the hard way.
3. I-uh-ohwa Hawkeyes - Coming off a highly successful 9-3 season that had the Hawkeyes in contention for a Big 10 title, Coach Wildes was riding high, and the pollsters seemed to think so as well. Enter Coach Smitty and the Cyclones laying the smackdown in spectacular fashion to open the season. Considering they mauled Kent St just as badly just makes the L look worse for the Hawkeyes. With an offense that looks like my old flex-bone Triple Option days in the NDL Coach Wildes will try to bounce back next block and hopefully only have to use 1 QB instead of 3 to break 200 yards of offense. 4. Oklahoma Soon-to be unrankers - Did anybody take the betting line of a team getting mercy ruled in this game? Did anyone expect it to be Coach Shady & the Sooners? No? Oh ok... just checking. DUKE?! The UNC fan in me is beside myself with sadness...
5. Miss Sus Hippie State Bulljivers - My boy Beercop has (checks schedule) EIGHT ranked opponents, a 2-win goal, and a dream it looks like. This schedule looks miserable and this clearly means that Beercop is an M right? That's got to be the only reason he took this job because good grief... Putting that aside, further proof is the mercy ruling from Tulsa of all schools while winning the time of possession battle comfortably, along with a Chicago Bears circa 2007 performance against USF (Sexy Rexy anyone?). Beercop must've known I'd be bringing these back as we all know any press is good press am I right?
6. Texmex State Bobkittens - Any team that gets mercy ruled in the 1st quarter has to be on the list. The Texas St. Bobcats had a strong finish under Coach Liq last year and were riding high as early favorites to win the Sun Belt running away. However, Coach RanDawg god dog walked the whole way through unfortunately. To add insult to injury, the L comes from RanDawg's former dynasty UH which NDL vets will remember he helmed for an incredible 18 straight seasons and 23 in total. Let's hope this catfight isn't a precursor of the rest of the season as we won't talk about the 20 burger UTEP laid on Coach RanDawg in the 4th in a season-opening loss to the Miners.
7. New Mehxico St. Aggies - Oldschoola knew what he was doing when he took the Aggies job after being gifted a top 10 spot in the inaugural NDL returns draft. This was a classic 'I'm too old for this shit' pick and I respect it. Oldschoola clearly wants to kick it with the other oldheads in the game and live his best life. He's one of many this block that has the MWC sitting with 4 of the top 10 leading Division I rushers this season and I'm here for it. Salute to you Oldschoola, just don't give up 345 to everybody now!
8. Sam Houston We Have a Problem - Another old head coach that's seeking their first winning season since season 15 with Kentucky, Old Ky Shark gets the new school to the FBS whose mascot looks like if Heathcliff went to the gym and used steroids in college. They got big brother'd by some Power conference foes so I can't be too upset, but the mascot just gives me the heebie jeebies.
9. Louisiana Technicality - Seven. Seven Turnovers. My MWC bias may be showing, but here's another Conference USA team that is making the MWC look like they trying to be somebody. With a whopping 10 turnovers in two games, Coach Lingus & LA Tech will provide interesting high-flying games, or 3rd quarter-mercy rules aplenty.
10. We Are Marshall - Though he couldn't keep them because he was a newbie, it has to be a kick in the nuts to go from V-Tech to Da Herd. Had a decent showing against a very talented coach that has his Alma Mater before being golden-gophered for less than 200 yards of offense. Welcome to the league Coach Neal! You'll love it down here with us!
On Deck: Boise St Jeantys, Miami Hurricants, WhewSC, Maryland Terribles, Wisconsin Bad-gers, UTSA Roadkill.
- iroccafella
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