As Season 23 comes to a close, I present to you a countdown of the 10 worst teams of the season, complete with a countdown of some horribly bad movie scenes. With more than a handful of people having the majority of their games simmed, this list is limited to making fun of those who actually completed most of their season but still sucked. Beefy and Toro have been given a pass for this list as they are generally expected to be here anyway. For the record, they had a combined record of 1-17 this season.
10. Vanderbilt Commodores 3-8 (0-7 SEC)tball275
The first of 3 SEC teams on this list, Tball continues to find himself among the league's worst the last few seasons. After going 0-12 with Ole Miss the season before last (and managing just 3 wins with Rice last season), did Tball really think he'd fare any better with an even crappier SEC team? Losing by nearly two touchdowns a game is probably something he didn't see coming, but then again, the people in this plane didn't see the shark coming either:
9. Tennessee Volunteers 3-9 (3-5 SEC)ndlkdog36
Kdog has posted back-to-back 3-9 seasons with the Vols thanks to an offense that scored a paltry 10 points per game. And that number 3 in the win column should probably have an asterisk next to it because two of them were against teams on this list (see: Vandy, LSU). QB Tyler Bray must have been scared thinking of Mr. Jingles when facing opposing defenses, tossing 22 interceptions to just 9 touchdowns and getting sacked 17 times.
8. Utah State Aggies 3-9 (2-5 WAC)ndlquack
Quack shifted from Utah to Utah State and quickly found out the WAC is wack especially if you have a shitty team. His 3 wins were against teams that combined for just 4 wins this season. We find our next clip from Bollywood because that's about as close as Quack is going to get to his Ducks in this lifetime.
7. California Golden Bears 2-9 (0-8 PAC-12)taruncheel
They beat LSU (not saying much) and North Texas. They gave up almost 260 yards of total offense per game. They turned the ball over nearly 3 times per game. And they didn't force a single fumble all season long. The Golden Bears were straight up garbage this season. Time to take the garbage out.
When you're a new coach, you've gotta start at the bottom. That doesn't mean you have to finish at the bottom. I do have to point out that the Thundering Herd blew out their opponents in both of their wins (by a combined score of 65-0), but that still doesn't change the fact that you're turning the ball over nearly 4 times per game. Maybe you can hire Torgo as your personal bodyguard in the offseason, because the "We are Marshall" faithful aren't going to be happy with a 2-win season.
5. Florida International Golden Panthers 2-9 (2-5 Sun Belt)yougoogelizer
Pop quiz: who by far led the league this season with 44 total turnovers? That distinction goes to FIU QB Wes Carroll, who threw a mind-numbing 42 interceptions this season and fumbled the ball twice. One in every seven of Carroll's passes were picked off. Carroll would just stand there dazed after every pick as the defense would constantly hear a deep, ominous voice in the sky instructing them to Finish Him.
4. New Mexico Lobos 1-10 (0-6 MWC)heavelygifted
Heavily gifted? If gifted is the new politically correct term for "special" then that explains why the Lobos lost every game they played this season (one win due to sim). The Lobos scored just 9 total touchdowns this season, in part because their coach was too busy worrying about who was going to win the Miss New Mexico pageant instead of worrying about how to put points on the scoreboard. Although it's hard to take your your team seriously when you have a QB named Stump. It's also hard to take any SyFy movie seriously:
3. UNLV Rebels 1-11 (1-6 MWC)michael22
The Rebels' only win came in the form of a 7-3 barn-burner against the aforementioned Lobos. There isn't much to say about a team that scores just 10 points a game. Screw it...just watch this painfully bad movie clip:
2. Memphis Tigers 1-10 (1-6 C-USA)beercop
When your only win comes by way of a sim, undefeatable is probably not a term you would throw around the campfire. Beercop and the Tigers were the absolute worst in scoring, managing just 7.5 points per game and 5th-worst in points allowed (28). That's usually the recipe for some one-sided fights. This fight however, was a little bit more evenly matched:
1. LSU Tigers 2-9 (0-7 SEC)ajalves
We all knew it wouldn't pan out when AJ selected LSU with the 10th pick in the draft but did anybody really think it would be this bad?? This is a team that's had just five coaches in the history of the NDL (three since Season 3) and the sixth is looking to be a one-and-done in Baton Rouge. AJ didn't just fall on hard times, he made the LSU program look downright bad. The Tigers were turning the ball over less than once per game but only holding onto the ball about 7 minutes per game which would indicate they simply couldn't make any plays offensively (they averaged an SEC-worst 156 yards per game). It's no wonder AJ stopped recording player stats halfway through the season...so we wouldn't see how bad he actually was. Just for you AJ, I present the worst movie ever made:
tball275
ndlkdog36
ndlquack
taruncheel
calbrs04
yougoogelizer
heavelygifted
michael22
beercop
ajalves
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