Marraige; Where is the Value?

Post by **ajalves** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 9:59 pm

BIGmike wrote:
ajalves wrote:
BIGmike wrote: Apparently Dawn doesn't like AJ's vidya game friends. I wonder if she ever saw any of the shit I posted on your wall drunk AJ.

im sure she has....she dont give a shit...
Does she also believe you to be emo?

she knows i hate you

Post by **BIGmike** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:06 pm

ajalves wrote:
BIGmike wrote:
ajalves wrote:
BIGmike wrote: Apparently Dawn doesn't like AJ's vidya game friends. I wonder if she ever saw any of the shit I posted on your wall drunk AJ.

im sure she has....she dont give a shit...
Does she also believe you to be emo?
she knows i hate you

plasma1896 · Post by **plasma1896** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:51 pm

I have been married for 16 years in november. i am a very happy married man. i have my freedom to do whatever i want. i can tell her im going to vegas next weekend for a bachelor party and she will say ok.i can have my buddies over to hang out and no questions. when it comes to family parties, she knows i dont go to certain parties. i just ask her "high society or ghetto ass party" and thats it. the day will come and it will happen when you will wake up in the morning and the air is going to smell just right ,and the day is just perfect. you will meet that special person.

i think it was bronx tale that ganster said " when you open the car door for the girl, and she reaches around and unlocks your door.she is a keeper.

i ran into a bunch of women in my earlier days and not one of them i would say i would marry. if it was sucking my dick on the first date, smoking , acting like a complete idiot in front of people and so on.my wife is more of my best friend then anything. trust is the most important thing. financial had nothing to do with my marriage at all. my wifes family is well off,my family is as well,we just enjoy each others company and just like to hang out. blackrain meet my wife and my wife was like one of the guys talking shit to him and our other friend tobby (aka terry glenn)

but yes trendon, i see alot of people married and wonder what the fuck are they doing together. and i bet you see this at your bar and wonder the same thing.i believe in life(bad or good) shit happens for a reason. so if they stay together forever or for a short time,people learn from the experiences and that is life man. shit happens

packsyD22 · Post by **packsyD22** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:56 am

I have always thought it helped to see a great marriage growing up and that is exactly what my parents have done for me. They are happily married and are way cool with one another. That right there makes me want to meet a cool chick and marry her someday.

I also believe that at some point when your dating a girl etc you know that she is the one and frankly I have met maybe one in my lifetime but she is long gone now. Too many people fall in love quick and get married. Its silly, like Trendon said too many people are in a hurry. I used to get pissed when I was getting older after I turned 21 but age is just a number. I will get married when I know it is the right person. I hope the other person will feel the same way. Sounds like all the happily married men in this league got it going on, sex when they want it and a lot of trust in their women etc.

The kids thing is another huge thing. I dont get how people get married and dont produce a child if its possible. I know kids are very expensive and once they come into this world it is all about them, but that is probably the beauty of parent hood. There is nothing better to then leaving your legacy on another life and hopefully they will turn out alright.

I dunno, the older I've gotten the more fearful of marriage I have become. At the end of the day though its something I strongly believe in and hopefully I can meet the future Mrs. Dietz at some point.

oldschoola · Post by **oldschoola** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:33 am

BFiVL wrote:
Nole4real wrote:She's got a good name

biff had me rolling posting on my FB....aj didnt respond...guess he didnt think shit was funny
Me and Stan sent her friend invites, still waiting on a response........

DLA hehe

pssssst derek next on the list is MWP ......

Post by **DRiccio21** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:43 am

everyones marriage/wife is great... until it isn't

Post by **GeorgesGoons** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:13 am

I'm sure I am one of the very few in America that has been with my wife since we were both 15. We just went over 17 years together and in March we'll be married for 15 years, thats right got married at 18. I will never say its been happy go lucky the whole time, there was one time after being married for 9 years I thought we were going to get divorced but we worked it out and there isnt another woman in this world that I'd take over her, except maybe Reese Witherspoon. We both came from broken families so we pretty much gravitated towards each other and have ever since we first hooked up. I get joked with on by my fellow Soldiers that I am whipped but I dont care, I'd lay down my life for my wife and son if I had to. Those two are my life.

As for why we got married. Like I said we both came from broken families that had drug issues so we had that in common and we were each others strength at 16 years old. We both came from absolutely no money so sure a dual income sounded good to us but that never came into the equation when we decided to get married. We did it purely off of our love for each other.

I dont think marriage is right for everyone, especially in my field of work. It takes a strong person on both sides to endure what we have to endure with constant separations and the constant unknown of when the next deployment will be.

jsence2 · Post by **jsence2** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:14 pm

GeorgesGoons wrote:I dont think marriage is right for everyone, especially in my field of work. It takes a strong person on both sides to endure what we have to endure with constant separations and the constant unknown of when the next deployment will be.

And it takes a very strong marriage for both of you to resist the temptations that come from that--I live near Fort Knox, have spent a lot of time there; and it sickens me how often the wives of some of the men serving over there are out trolling while their men are gone.

Once again on behalf of many, thank you for your SACRIFICES for this nation. Few of us, including me, can even begin to comprehend just how much you have to give up to protect us.

trendon · Post by **trendon** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 1:51 pm

I came back here to read the responses - even though I said I wouldn't - and nobody answered my question. Is this my fault?

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 2:07 pm

Only things I could come up with to get married:

a. some monetary benefit with tax breaks, although likely far less than what would be lost in case of a divorce

b. culturally ingrained thing to do after yrs of dating

I think Im with ya on this Trendon

trendon · Post by **trendon** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 2:10 pm

Weasel wrote:Only things I could come up with to get married:

a. some monetary benefit with tax breaks, although likely far less than what would be lost in case of a divorce

b. culturally ingrained thing to do after yrs of dating

I think Im with ya on this Trendon

OK, someone understands what I mean. I am curious if the potential catastrophe a divorce could have on you emotionally, socially, and financially is worth the marriage? Now, before hitting REPLY, factor in that by and large, a wife has no more abilities than a lifelong girlfriend.

As for tax breaks, not so much, especially if one person is making 90% of the money. It is actually worse.

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 2:14 pm

The BIG problem with this is finding a girl willing to date for such a long time knowing marriage isnt in the future. Im pretty sure most females out there have that 'dream wedding' in mind

trendon · Post by **trendon** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 2:17 pm

Weasel wrote:The BIG problem with this is finding a girl willing to date for such a long time knowing marriage isnt in the future. Im pretty sure most females out there have that 'dream wedding' in mind

That would be the #1 stumbling block, sadly.

I won't do it unless the "wedding" ceremony is just a dog and pony show. You'll never get me to sign that fucking paper. I have tried to find every angle possible to make me believe it is worth it, but nobody EVER talks pragmatically about it which, to me, is a sign that it doesn't make any fucking sense.

I refuse to put myself in a situation where the gains are minimal but the losses are catastrophic.

Post by **DRiccio21** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 2:20 pm

trendon wrote:
Weasel wrote:The BIG problem with this is finding a girl willing to date for such a long time knowing marriage isnt in the future. Im pretty sure most females out there have that 'dream wedding' in mind
That would be the #1 stumbling block, sadly.

I won't do it unless the "wedding" ceremony is just a dog and pony show. You'll never get me to sign that fucking paper. I have tried to find every angle possible to make me believe it is worth it, but nobody EVER talks pragmatically about it which, to me, is a sign that it doesn't make any fucking sense.

I refuse to put myself in a situation where the gains are minimal but the losses are catastrophic.

i dont get why you keep saying nobody is answering you, it seems like we all are to me.

like i said earlier, the children is the biggest part to me. having a child then having your girlfriend leave you would probably be a tough thing. at least marriage there is some sort of bond and process that needs to be completed that makes the seperation harder then just packing a bag and leaving

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 2:20 pm

trendon wrote: I refuse to put myself in a situation where the gains are minimal but the losses are catastrophic.

Like a game vs Dave?

trendon · Post by **trendon** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 2:21 pm

Weasel wrote:
trendon wrote: I refuse to put myself in a situation where the gains are minimal but the losses are catastrophic.
Like a game vs Dave?

You motherfucker.

plasma1896 · Post by **plasma1896** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 2:59 pm

trendon wrote:
I refuse to put myself in a situation where the gains are minimal but the losses are catastrophic.

kids are what make people change. till you have any, its been all about the person your looking at in the mirrror since you came out from your moms stomach. when my kids were born,i was like man i am responsible for this little human. it makes you a whole different person. like george said he would lay down for his family. i am right there with him. life is a long parade guys. you are going to have to go up some hills and down some, and somtimes your just cruising. you learn everyday stuf in life. you have friends you grew up with that you arent close as friends as before,new ones you have meet thru mutual friends, its life. just enjoy it and go for the ride man.

drricio, yeah guys are going to say their wifes are great. trust me ,you will be saying the same thing when you meet that special women that wants to be with you for you and gives you the greatest gift of all, kids of your own. something more special then another human being calling you DAD. doesnt get better then this.

trendon · Post by **trendon** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:21 pm

plasma1896 wrote:
trendon wrote: kids are what make people change. till you have any, its been all about the person your looking at in the mirrror since you came out from your moms stomach. when my kids were born,i was like man i am responsible for this little human. it makes you a whole different person. like george said he would lay down for his family. i am right there with him. life is a long parade guys. you are going to have to go up some hills and down some, and somtimes your just cruising. you learn everyday stuf in life. you have friends you grew up with that you arent close as friends as before,new ones you have meet thru mutual friends, its life. just enjoy it and go for the ride man.

I don't see how that matters to analyzing the cost effectiveness of marriage.

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:23 pm

trendon wrote: I don't see how that matters to analyzing the cost effectiveness of marriage.

Maybe the fact of having kids simply increases the chance that a marriage will work?

Post by **ajalves** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:26 pm

Weasel wrote:
trendon wrote: I don't see how that matters to analyzing the cost effectiveness of marriage.
Maybe the fact of having kids simply increases the chance that a marriage will work?

quite the contrary.

to be honest, if you dont understand marriage, you havent met the right woman. Just my opinion.

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